News from the GMO Front

Russian scientists have proven that Genetically Modified Organisms (GMOs) are harmful to mammals in a recent announcement to kick off the Days of Defence against Environmental Hazards

Using lab animals to prove that science is evil (oh! the humanity!), the scientists discovered such genetic abnormalities as loss of reproductive ability and hair growth in the mouth. France and Austria have found the same problems in recent tests, prompting France to place an immediate ban on GMO maize.

In other GMO news, Bayer admitted last month that contamination of local Missouri farmers’ crops with GMO rice. According to experts, over 30 percent of all rice cropland in the United States is contaminated with Bayer’s unapproved rice. In their defense, Bayer explains that there is no possible way of preventing this from happening, that they followed the best possible safety practices and obviously things like this are just going to keep happening until GMOs are completely off the market. Thanks for that, Bayer. You really made our day.

Finally, an entire crop of weed-resistant corn from Monsanto has utterly failed as of April, leaving farmers in South Africa totally desperate. Some farms have suffered 80% failure, as the crops, which are terrible for the soil and environment anyway, simply failed to produce seeds, due to insufficient laboratory fertilization.

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